Sunday, 30 October 2011

Battlefield 3 Poem

It’s the end of the month 
Which sees the release of yet another new game? 
Maybe I'm crazy 
But I find I'm in a shop again
There it is
New and nice
Battlefield 3
Have you seen that price?
Before I knew it
I was at the till
Damn it
I swore last time that
With EA
I’d had my fill

Now I'm home with Battlefield 3
All geared up
And real dead happy
I do hope EA don’t try to sell me mandatory crap
And act real fly
Because things like that
Just make me cry

But what’s this I hear?
Moans and groans
It’s the British manner
But shrieks and cry’s of
Now wait a minute
What’s all this
Surly not Battlefield 3
I thought it was bliss?

Bugs and glitches
And the singleplayers shit
But rest assured
The multiplayers a hit

Shouldn’t this game be multiplayer only?
Now wait a damn minute
Maybe that’s a bit too much
I don’t like that road
Of online only much

The Battlefield series has been around a while
But let’s be honest now
The singleplayers never been its chief selling style

Now let’s not be so quick
To call for the exclusion of this mode
Otherwise it’ll be forty quid next time round
For just another
Online only mode

A month before
The game was due
Released a beta of poo
I did download it
Like everyone else
And played that map
With the subway
Was it crap?

Don’t get me wrong
I gave it a fair chance
Bugs & glitches are to be expected
But the graphics
Don’t say its all just circumstance

So as you guessed
The beta put me off
I threw a hissy fit
And got real pissed off
I swore I’d leave the game well alone
But battlefield 3
Come on
It’s the king of the FPS thrown

Now I'm playing Battlefield 3
Through the din of fog & war
Hiding in the corner
Is where I’ll usually be

With 50cal in hand
And scope up top
Extra ammo in my bullet belt shop
I feel all set for this trip
On a field of glory
With bullets and explosions
Near and far away
I’ve already forgotten that shit story

I’m the bastard you really hate
Camping in a place you’ll never infiltrate
I’m the lonesome soldier fighting it alone
I’m the one without his bromance chaperone
I’m the one you hear in the distance
I’m the one you bear in mind
But now you’re dead
One shot
One kill
Out of sight
Out of mind

Five seconds then you’ll respawn
Before you swear
You’ll shoot me before you’re done

So as you can tell
I’m having fun
Battlefield 3 is awesome
When all is said and well and done

By Casey Suou Layne


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